I can't meditate. I don't know how. It's just weird. What do I do? Am I doing it right? How long do I have to sit here? Why does this suck so bad?
These were a few of the thoughts I had when I started to meditate. But every Self Help book I've read said it was the things to do. Even my coach told me I need to meditate. But whyyyy???? (whiny voice). Because its fucking awesome once you get past all the stupid things you tell yourself. Meditation has led me to some of my greatest AH-HA moment. I've processed information, got in touch with my body, my feelings, MYSELF! Weird?! I know right.
Think about it. We are with "ourselves" or "our thoughts" all day long. Nobody else is in our head. So it makes sense to be comfortable with your thoughts and to be able to organize them. When I first started this practice, I told myself I would give it 2 weeks then I was done. 5 minutes a day for 2 weeks and that was it! I had so much resistance to meditation because I thought it was for monks and hippies all hopped up on who knows what. Buts its for everyone. Trust me. I know this is cliche to say, but if I can do it. You can do it. These are some of the thoughts I had on my mediation journey.
Day 1- Ok I can do this. This isnt so bad. Breathe in for 4 counts, out for 4 counts. Body scan. What the hell is a body scan? Oh ok.. thats a body scan. I can feel my hair? This is odd. Man I am hungry. Damn dogs wont shut up. Oh right breathing again. Bring back the mind to my breath...... breathe... ugh my breathe stinks. I forgot to brush my teeth. Maybe we need more mouthwash. Oh yes, breathe. (blank stare at the wall for another 2 minutes). Is this ever going to end? Oh wow I'm done. That was quick and easy.
Day 2 - alright lets get this done. This is taking forever. Why do Japanese beetles even exist? Why do they smell so bad? Blah breathe in, breathe out. I wish I had a million dollars. I forgot to feed the horses - SHIT! I've got to be almost done with this 5 minutes. Agh I can smell the coffee.. (Husband keeps walking by and ditracting me). Leave me alone I'm meditating! Dogs want kisses. Aghhh dogs were eating horse shit. Breathe in, breathe out.
Day 3- Sit down. Relax. Breathe. Mind wonders. Bring it back. Breathe in. Breathe out. Adjust seat. Open eyes. Close eyes quickly. Breathe in. Breathe out. Done.
(Repeat the above many many times. Eventually you get better. I promise)
As you can see, the list goes on and on. My mind wonders just like everyone else. I'm not a master meditater (haha why does that sound so naughty! is that even a word? it is now!). But practicing this every day for the better part of the last year has been life changing. I now do "body scans" daily and often to see how I am feeling and how I can adjust myself to feel better. FEELING GOOD IS OK! Also, to be aware of your thoughts. Where does your mind go? Do you think negative thoughts all day? (I bet that's setting you up for success, right? KIDDING!) Negative thoughts happen but to be aware of those thoughts and make the conscious decision to CHANGE THEM INTO POSITIVE is half the battle.
In one of the apps, it talks about your mind is a highway and you are just chilling on the side watching cars go by. You sort the cars by shape, by color, who is driving, which direction they are going, etc. You don't run out into the middle of the highway and try to stop all the traffic (not without getting smoked by a truck!). So the points of meditation, is being aware of the "cars", pointing them out, watch them go by, and sort them out. Not to run out and stop traffic. (maybe the app explains in better!)
You can do this. I know you can! (I'm your personal cheerleader). Give it 5 minutes a day for 2 weeks like I did. Write down how you feel after each mediation. Watch how you start to feel better and more aware of yourself and your surroundings the more you meditate. Now that I meditate daily, I have multiple apps on my iPhone to help guide me. Or I just lock myself in my car for 5 minutes after dropping off baby at daycare. (don't judge me!) I like HeadSpace, Calm, Getting into the Vortex and Simple Habit. Headspace and Simple habit are easiest to start with. They have 1-2 minute guided meditations if 5 minutes seems daunting.
Side note: I'm not a doctor, guru or expert on meditation. I am just a 30 year old mom, trying to live her dreams and not go bat shit crazy with all the hustle and bustle of today's world. I'm just hear to try new things, keep it real and help some people along the way. If you have questions, comments, thoughts, or whatever you want to tell me then send me an email at email@example.com
Be on the look out for more blogs coming up in the future!
Peace out People