Jealousy is bitch.. and so was I.
I was jealous of you. Yes, you. I was jealous of the skinny ones. I was jealous of the pretty ones. I was jealous of the women who make a lot of money and flaunt it. I was jealous of the housewives and stay at home moms. I was jealous of the fit ones and the ones who looks like bikini models. I was jealous of the women who got massages, facials, and who always have amazing make-up and hair. I was jealous of the women who started their own business. I was jealous of the ones who spoke their mind. I was jealous of the women who could go out and NOT get shit faced. I was jealous of you. All of you. I was. (Past tense)
Man jealous is a bitch. I was a bitch. I wanted all of these things but was too bitchy to open my eyes and actually do the things to get me to where I wanted to be. Guys, take my advice. Stop being a bitch. Jealousy isn’t really a bad thing. It’s just a way of showing you what you want. If you’re jealous of someone, ask yourself why. If you’re like me, it’s because you want that lifestyle...
So now, I am no longer that jealous woman. I am the woman who exercises because I love my body, not because I hate it. I am not wealthy by any means, but I make moremoney than I used to. I am a wife and sometimes I stay at home with my child (depends on the day). I wear bikinis because I want to and I don’t give a shit if I look like a model. I practice body positivity because that’s what I want others to do, be body positive. I now get massages and facials. Sometimes I even do my hair and makeup. I started my own business from nothing. I speak my own truth. I can go out with friends and stay sober. But none of this was easy. First, I HAD to be jealous. Extreme jealousy before I tried this concept of the “How Can I?” hat and actually make my dreams a reality.
Earlier today, I posted in my Client Only Facebook group about how I am getting a 90-minute massage today. I do this monthly now. It has always been a dream of mine but I always made excuses why I could not do it. I would see other women being pampered and instead of taking action, I would judge them and say, “Must be rough”. I say this with sarcasm because getting 90-minute massages monthly is NOT rough at all. I wanted that life sooo bad. But I couldn’t get out of my own way. Instead, I was plagued with jealousy, hate and negative self-talk. I would say, “I can never afford that”, “I never have 90 minutes of free time”, “Her wealthy husband probably pays for it anyways”. Just dumb shit. I would make every excuse as to why that couldn’t be me and reasons why I should hate this woman I’ve never even met because she can get massages and I can’t.
This is when someone asked me… “Sausha, why don’t you shut up and put on your ‘How Can I’ hat and see what you come up with?”. This concept was new to me. What the hell is a “how can I” hat?? Well, let me tell you… it’s a thinking cap you can put on (literally or figuratively) and come up with numerous ways to make something happen. You brainstorm ways to make shit happen even when you think it’s impossible. Now the first couple of times I did this, it was hard. I had to ask for help. Bounce ideas off other people. But the more I did it, the more creative I was…. the closer I was to actually living that dream! How can this be?!!?
My motivation to keep going was the dream of being that woman someday. I decided instead of hating on her, that I would watch her and see what she did to become successful. What did she do to get those things? I asked questions. I listened. I researched. I worked hard. I got out of my comfort zone and found ways to make things happen. I told the Universe the things I wanted very specifically, took action, and watched the magic unfold. You think I’m joking, I’m not. I was a mean hateful person. Yes, I traveled. Yes, I did things. But I was still jealous, angry, spiteful. It wasn’t until I put on this concept of “How Can I?” that things really started to change.
Some of you may be reading this and think I’m full of shit. That’s OK. You aren’t ready for to wear the hat yet. You are still in the “jealousy” phase and that’s Ok. I was there for a very long time. But when you’re ready, ask yourself “how can I have what she has?” And find the way to make it happen. Take the action steps to make it happen.
Amazing things happen when you get off your ass and stop making excuses. Need more money? How Can I? Need more time? How Can I? Need a vacation? How can I?
So today, when I talk about the things I do in my life, instead of being jealous.. be curious. Say something like “I want that life” and then go make it happen. I didn’t acquire these things overnight. I did not build a business overnight. I did not always have enough money for massages, facials and vacations. But I FOUND ways to make it happen. I set a goal, come up with little baby steps how to get that goal. Instead of sitting on my ass, I took action and made shit happen.
Who in your life are you jealous of? What lifestyle are you jealous of? Now write down what steps that person took to get to that point in their life. Now go do those steps. Stop making excuses. I know that’s what you’re thinking. “I’m too tired. I don’t have the energy. I don’t have the motivation. I don’t blah blah blah blah”. GO DO IT!
I mean that in the most loving way possible but NOW is the time to get off your ass and make YOUR LIFE happen. NOW is the time to life the life you want.
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