I've been feeling the urge to speak about this topic a lot recently so here goes....
I see a lot of "anxiety and depression" in social media now. Perhaps it is because I also struggled with this that I am able to recognize it quicker than others. It's like buying a black truck, then you see black trucks everywhere. But lately, I feel like its getting a little too common. I personally think some women are claiming anxiety and depression simply for the attention, which really triggers me.
Maybe this is in my head? Maybe I'm not the only one who thinks this way? Either way, here me out. I guess the part that I struggle with is that I see these people talk about their struggles day in and day out without actually doing anything to make it better. I get so upset when I see someone struggling, but they won't do anything about it. It makes me wonder if they are actually struggling that bad, just want the attention, or if they are struggling so bad that they cannot take action.
You see, I struggled with pretty severe depression and mild anxiety. I don't think I classified it as depression but looking back, that's what it was. During this period of my life, I was too messed up in my head to realize what was going on. I would physically harm myself to ease the pain. I would do and say terrible things to myself and say that I deserved everything that came to me. I felt so alone in the world. I remember crying myself to sleep at night hoping, wishing, praying for a light at the end of the tunnel.
I was never really a whiner or complainer. Maybe it was how I was raised. Shut up and work hard. It would drive me crazy to hear people talk about emotions and how their feelings were hurt. I would say shut the f*ck up and figure it out. Sometimes I still say that! That's probably where this trigger stems from with anxiety and depression. I suffered quietly for some time.
Actually I never even talked about it until about a year ago to anyone other than a coach or mentor. I didn't feel safe. I felt like I was constantly being judged. I felt like everyone was waiting for me to f*ck up so they could point the finger and laugh. I was very cautious with what I said and how I acted around people. Maybe that's why I am opening up now. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way!
It really sucks that we women treat each other like this. I have a very small select group of people that I confide in. It seems like every time I open up and share my story, they turn around and talk shit about me behind my back. I have always been a pretty good secret keeper. I have TONS of secrets from people all over. I don't share many of them. I assumed others had the same respect for me but I quickly found out that isn't the case.
Why am I telling you this? I have no idea. I really feel like we treat anxiety and depression like its the cool thing to do now. Its no f*cking joke and I'm done with assholes talking down to people about it. I'm done with people complaining about it but refusing to get help. Or the people who ask for help but never take action. Those people drive me insane.
Are you an action taker? Or a side-liner? Are you waiting to win the lottery and have money solve all your problems? Are you waiting for Prince Charming to come and sweep you off your feet and make everything all better? GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?! It's never going to happen! Nope. It won't. You my as well quit wasting your time and get your ass moving.
It doesn't have to be pretty. Start small. Get out of bed every day and make a routine. Drink water. Get a mentor, coach or therapist. Hell, get all 3! I do! I have support ALL around me! I have people who help me with health, wellness, spirituality, yoga, business, and anything else you can think of! There is power in community. You just have to find the right community. You have to GET OFF YOUR ASS and find it for yourself. It will not magically appear for you.
So if you are suffering with anxiety, depression, negative thoughts, feeling not good enough, or anything else... reach out! Don't just post about it on social media hoping someone will waltz into your home and fix you. YOU HAVE TO FIX YOURSELF! You have to walk through the shit yourself to get to the other side. It sucks! It reallllllyyyyyyy sucks! But you feel so damn good on the other side. You feel light, alive, joy, bravery, freedom. It's a pretty incredible feeling.
If I can do it, so can you. Stick with me and I will start to share a lot more in depth stories from my past. There is not enough time in the day to tell them all at once. Just know that you arent alone and that you are enough. You are worthy. You CAN do this. Don't be that guy that cries wolf. Be that guy who IS the wolf and leads the pack. I used to be the lone wolf, and now I'm the leader in my own pack. Crazy how that comes full circle, huh?
Make sure to tune into episode 15 on the BADASS Podcast for even more insight on my take on anxiety and depression.
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