Ever sit and wonder why everyone else around you gets everything handed to them? Ever wonder why that person isn’t you?
I hear you 100000% so I decided to dig a little deeper. Turns out there is quite a few everyday things in your household that can be keeping you from MORE in your life. Let me tell you what I discovered.
First thing I discover is that I was leaving in a state of “oh that’s just the way it is” with everything in my house. I acted like I wasn’t in control and couldn’t take care of the problem. For example, I have a hallway light that burned out and instead of changing the light bulb, I left it. When guests would come over I would say “Oh yea, I’ve been meaning to change that. Its been like that for a while now”. But I still wouldn’t change it!! What is wrong with me? This has been a metaphor for my life thought. I know what isn’t working in my life yet I refused to change it. I have an idea of what I need to do to fix it but yet I “couldn’t find the time” (total BS).
Another example of this was this past weekend, my husband and I decided to finally finish the floors, trim, paint, etc. that we started OVER A YEAR AGO! Can you even believe that? Over a year ago. It was early Spring 2017 when we started this project. We got the floors laid out and when it came to the stair nose and the trim, we said screw it because it was “too hard” at that time. I think we were a little burnt out from doing floors for three days straight and I was around six or seven months pregnant at the time. It was easy to say we would get to it another day. A year and a half late that day came.
Why am I telling you this? Because the Universe cannot give you MORE if you don’t appreciate and fix the things you already have. If you can’t take care of and value what is right in front of you, why do you deserve more? Quite frankly, it’s an insult to ask for more when you are being a spoiled brat like I was. I would figuratively stop around thinking the world owed me something. I learned quickly I am owed nothing and what I want is mine for the taking if I act upon it.
You want more abundance in your life? More time? More money? More joy? Start by taking a look around your house. What have you been tolerating this entire time? What isn’t working in your house? What room do you absolutely hate going into? Mine is the basement and the dining room. They are like big ass storage closets. My goal is to gut them and overhaul them. I have been donating and recycling box after box after box of stuff I no longer have a purpose for. I am getting rid of the old to create space for the new. When I decided on what should stay or should go, I pick it up and ask myself this “Are you coming to my new life with me?” If the answer is no, donate. If the answer is yes, clean it and place it back where it goes.
Start fixing the things you have control over. Make your environment your happy place. Clean, tidy, well kept, trim complete, nice paint colors, old things kept out of guilt are donated, and be grateful for all that you have. It really is a first world problem. .
Next, I want you to move onto your CLOSET! Ooooooo. I know I have talked about this before but that is because I think it is VERY important! Our closet is like the secret to how we think, act, and feel about ourselves. For example, I no longer work in the corporate world, nor will I ever go back. So why did I hang on to 20+ corporate outfits? In the back of my head I would say “Sausha, what if things don’t work out with this new career? You don’t want to buy a whole new corporate wardrobe, do you? You can’t afford that.”
So I kept the clothes as a back up and out of guilt in case things didn’t work out for me. I decided one day that no matter what I would make it work out. I would be a huge successful business owner if it killed me. I couldn’t live with myself without giving it my absolute all. I wasn’t giving the Universe a clear vision of what I wanted in life because I was hanging onto the past.
I donated everything. I went through my closet and donated every piece of clothing that reminded me of my corporate life. I made the firm decision that from that day on, I wouldn’t look back. There was no back up plan because I was damn sure I was going to succeed. I was never going back there so why did I need those clothes to remind me of a past I didn’t want to relive? I was giving a clear sign to the Universe that I was ready for the next step. I wasn’t going back. I said thank you to each piece for its time and place in my life and sent it on its way to help another.
This change was small but significant. I had a confidence and success boost in my business as soon as I did this. It was the Universe rewarding me for creating space for the new. I was so excited! My question for you is, what are you hanging onto from the past? Out of guilt? If things don’t work out? Maybe you are a few pounds heavier than you want to be so you hang on to that pair of jeans from college, hoping to fit into them one day. But every time you look at them, you feel like shit because deep down, you have no idea if they will really fir or not.
Try this instead. Donate those clothes and REWARD yourself with a fancy pair of new jeans when you hit your goal. Don’t reward your future with an item from the past. That is ass backwards. “Oh, hey future! I’m so glad you’re here! Let’s put this pair of jeans on that reminds me of my drunk college days when I dated a guy who use to smoke a lot of pot and cheat on me.” Sweet! Now I feel REALLY GOOD! Ha ha. Totally kidding. (side note – I have nothing against weed anymore and have smoked my fair share once upon a time. A topic for another day). But what does make me feel GOOD, is going to the store and buying a brand new pair of hip hugging denim that makes me ass look so good, my husband can’t keep his hands off me. Yea, that feels good.
Now I want to talk about the people in your life who you are tolerating or no longer serving you in a positive way. I had too many people in my life that either a) wanted something from me for nothing in return, b) wanted to keep me small by degrading my success and progress or c) made me feel like shit without ever saying a word. Sound familiar?
Let’s start with people wanting something from me but gave nothing in return. I had TONS of people who wanted to use me as someone to back them up when I was younger. I was a fighter, like an actual physical fighter. If I said shut up or I’ll punch you in the face, I seriously punched you in the face. I gave one warning and then execute. I did not fuck around. So I had lots of “friends” who knew this about me. They weren’t really my friends until they found themselves in a situation that needed physical assistance, hence me. It was stupid looking back. I always got in trouble for fighting and the other person would walk away, no harm, no foul. But since I stepped in and tried to be the hero, I got punished for it. Like wtf guys?
So I suggest, if it doesn’t mutually benefit you, then say no. Get rid of those friends and move on with your life. Your life is not worth risking for something else’s stupidity. Trust me on this. I’ve ended up in jail more than once because I listened to that stupid Sausha in my brain that said I should do this or I should do that. No, don’t do it. Go with your gut. If you’re gut is saying this is a bad idea, if all of the outcomes are not positive ones, then just don’t.
Next, lets talk about those who keep you small. Ahhhh yes, I’m sure you can name a few. Sometimes they are close family, other times they are close friends. Either way, these people are the ones who say things like “Shouldn’t you be happy with what you have? Why are you always wanting more? Do you really think that’s possible? Maybe you should find a rich husband instead?’ Oh, that last one DRIVES ME IN-FUCKING-SANE! Ladies, YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN WEALTH! You DO NOT need a rich husband to do so and PLEASE for the love of GOD, stop telling your daughters the same thing!!!
I heard a woman last night say to her daughter, “I told her to find a rich husband so then that way she can afford a horse.” I cringed and wanted to cry. I felt so sorry for that 14 year old girl because she is going to grow up thinking her worth is dependent on what a man thinks she is worth. How fucking sad is that? It breaks me heart. Ladies, you are fully capable of going after the things you want in life. I tell my daughter every day that she can do anything she wants. I don’t care if she wants to be a Unicorn on planet Mars. I’m sure she would find a way to make it happen.
Find your tribe. Cut out these toxic people holding you back and find those people who are going to lift you up and breath the life back into your soul. Start by joining a club, creating a club, joining a mastermind.. Whatever it is, make sure it is a positive experience. One where you brainstorm and talk about success what’s going right in your life.
Don’t join that mom group, book club, or gym that talks about people and bitches all the time. I’ll be honest and say I am only part of one mom group currently (which is still sticky at times) because I couldn’t stand one more mom say she couldn’t do anything to fix her situation and complained about her husband. He is a GROWN ASS MAN so stop treating him like a baby and maybe he will help out more. Just my two cents. **Cue the excuses*** lol but really, keep your excuses to yourself, I’ve heard enough.
Last but not least, cut out the people in your life who make you feel like shit without saying a word. You know those people that when you get around them they say things like “Do whatever you want or think it right” but then you have this weird gut feeling like they don’t mean it. Perhaps they are giving you the evil eye, or arms crossed, or scowl on their face. Either way, their words don’t match their energy. CUT. THOSE. PEOPLE. OUT. Energy is contagious. Surround yourself with positive energy and guess what? You will so much better!!!! Its incredible how energy works like that.
Alright, I think I have given you enough to think about for the day! If you enjoyed this blog, I am going to ask you to please share on your Social Media and tag me @SaushaLDavis. I love seeing women helping women (and men too). Chances are, you know someone who needs to read this as much as you did. I know I needed this at a time in my life. I wish it would have came sooner but they saying goes “The teacher appears when the student is ready”. I had a lot to learn before I was ready. Hell, I’m still learning! Not a single day goes by that I don’t learn something knew.
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Lots of love ladies.
PS – I am not perfect but we all have to start somewhere, right?
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