Say NO More Often

December 1, 2018

"If every minute of your time was worth a million dollars, are you spending it wisely?" 

 

 

 

Let’s talk about decisions and why we make them…

I used to be one of those people who literally said yes to EVERYTHING!

 

 

"Hey Sausha – will you help me with this? Yes. Hey Sausha – can you grab this for me? Yes. Hey Sausha- will you buy this for me and I’ll pay you back? Yes. Hey Sausha – Can you cancel all of your existing plans because something came up in my life that I think is more important but really it is poor planning and I don't really want to do it by myself, and you have to be there because if you aren’t, I will guilt you into feeling like the biggest pile of poop ever? Yes."

 

Man, doesn’t that sound exhausting? And I would wonder why I felt burnt out, exhausted and angry all the time. I’m not talking a little anger… I’m talking full on hate the world, don’t fuck with me kind of anger. The kind of anger that people see from a mile away and think “Oh shit, don’t fuck with that girl!”. That was me not too long ago. I would say YES to things I really didn’t want to say yes to and then I would take my anger and frustrations out of those I love the most....

 

It was a vicious cycle and it was really starting to take a toll on my mental and physical health. I felt like I need to say yes to everyone for a few reasons. First, because I naturally want to help anyone and everyone I can. I enjoyed the feeling of being wanted and needed. It had something to do with my self-worth that I had placed on myself and it was such a good feeling to be needed and REQUESTED at that. Man, I used to love when people would say “Go to Sausha, she can handle anything!”. And in a sense, I still can. but I have wayyy strict boundaries when it comes to what I will and will not do now.

 

For example, I no longer invest in people who don’t give two shits about their future. If you don’t have the desire to get on my level or at least TRY to help yourself, I can’t help you.  I don’t want to spend time with people who aren’t dreamers and doers. It took me a long time to realize this, but I value my time more than anything else on this planet. My time is precious to me and if you are taking time away from myself and my family, it better be for a damn good reason! Get what I’m saying? I wasted far too much time listening to pity parties and people who wanted to use me for whatever the hell they had going on at the time. I am not an object. I cannot and will not be used. Ever again.

 

Secondly, I felt really guilty for telling people no especially because I know I CAN do it or I CAN help them. But I’ve found that I don’t have to do everything, nor do I want to. Just because I CAN, doesn’t mean I HAVE to. Again, I’ve come to value my time more than anything else. I have a limited amount of time on this earth, same as you. I want to spend it doing things I ENJOY and that are LIFE ENHANCING to myself and others. If it doesn’t meet those requirements, then I will say no and/or delegate to someone else who has that zone of genius.

 

Does this sound selfish? Probably if you haven’t thought this way before. But let me break it down for you in a few examples…… You have 18,000,0000 things to do already but you start to say yes to everyone else and put yourself on the back burner, per usual. You start to feel angry because you got nothing done but yet you were running around ALL DAY! You are pissed off because you have made ZERO time for yourself and the things you enjoy, even it’s only 5 minutes of quiet time. Wouldn’t that be nice??

 

You go home and take it out of your husband, who God knows does NOT deserve that. You stay up too late trying to play catch up and make some time for yourself. You wake up late because you are tired because you were up so late. You are rushed to work. You do stuff for everyone else again all day. Go home. Get pissed. Hate your life. Can’t believe this is your life. Why me? Poor me. This must be the way things are. Sleep (not really because your mind is going a million miles an hour thinking about all the shit you have to do tomorrow). Repeat.

 

Oh and if you’re like me you’re probable drive 80mph in a 55mph, cussing, smoking because you don’t know how to manage your time, and can’t wait to get home and make a drink to “relax”!! (nothing against drinking, but if you NEED it every day after work, it’s a problem.) To top it off, you eat fast food or you eat nothing because you didn’t have time to prep. What’s meal prepping anyways? Oh and working out? Hahahahahahahh WHO HAS THE TIME!

 

Now let’s see if you can stay with me here…. What if you said YES to yourself a little more often? What if you said NO to things that you really didn’t have time for or weren’t in alignment with your goals? What if you hired someone or delegated those tasks to someone who enjoyed them? What if you woke up 10 minutes earlier in the morning to make a homemade lunch and drink your coffee in peace?

 

Wouldn’t that be nice?

 

It’s possible. It’s all possible. I went from a frazzled shit show to someone who gets up routinely around 5:00 – 5:30 AM, mediates, journals, affirmations, reads, and exercises. I never thought this was possible a few years ago. I never imagined that this would be my life. I have more time now than I ever have before. Yes, I still have obligations and no, not every day is perfect. But I’ve learned to love the journey and the process of becoming the person I want to be.

 

I left my corporate job to pursue my passion of helping others on MY OWN TERMS!

 

Was it always easy? No.

Do I make mistakes? Yes.

Is there fear? Yes.

Do I know everything? No.

Is it perfect? Absolutely not. 

 

But the beauty of it is not knowing. Once I decided to quit being so afraid of letting people down or what other people thought about what I was doing, the sky opened and the sun appeared. It was like the Universe said to me “this is your path, follow it”. When you create the space to become your best self, magic happens. I don’t quite have the right words for the transformation that has occurred in my life. All I know is I seriously would have ended up in jail or rehab if I didn’t change my ways. I would be on a very different path if I had not decided to wake up to the beauty if life and have someone help me see my true potential, which I am still uncovering.

 

How do you start? Take an audit of your time. Write down everything you do throughout the day, week, month, etc. Each night spend a few minutes looking at your day. What went well? What didn’t go well? What could you have done differently? Are you putting yourself on the schedule? Start reading more personal development books. Listen to them in the car on Audible. Listen to them in the shower. Listen to podcasts that will help lift you up and inspire you to take action. MAKE TIME FOR YOU by saying YES to the things you want to do and NO to the things that are not in alignment with you big goals.

 

Baby steps. I’m not saying tell everyone no from here on out. But maybe start to say no a little more and let go of the expectations you place on yourself. Let go of the guilt. Let go of the perfectionism. Let go of the need to help everyone. Let go of the need to fix everything yourself.

 

Focus of you. Stay in your lane.

 

If every minute of your life was worth a million dollars, are you spending it wisely?

 

-Sausha 

 

 

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