Today I want to talk about if we are having the same conversation a year from now. I talk to a lot of people on a daily basis, so I come across this a lot. There is one woman in particular with whom I had the EXACT SAME conversation one year later. While we were talking, she was telling me about some challenges that she’s facing in her life. I said to her, “Do you want to be talking about this again next year or are you ready to change your life?” She replied, “Sausha, we did have this conversation before already.” And then it dawned on me that she was right - we had a talk with each other the previous year and we had talked about the exact same challenges! She then said, “I just can’t keep living my life like this.”
Then I asked her, “How do you feel right now?” And she said that she felt silly and stupid for not doing what she needed to do to change her life a year ago. She had told herself all of the usual excuses - that she didn’t have the time or money to invest in herself in order to overcome her challenges. I told her that if she wants something bad enough, she will overcome her excuses and find a way to make it happen. And I told her that I completely understand because I’ve been there too.
I understand why she and so many other women have these excuses. That’s our monkey mind talking and keeping us from the things that we desire most in our lives. That’s what our brain has trained us to do. It has trained us to stay safe. I have practiced a lot of personal and professional development to get me to the point of overcoming my own excuses and now helping other women do the same.
I know this to be true: when something is put in your head or on your heart, it is meant for you. It’s not put there to make you feel bad. It’s not put there to make you feel small or like it is impossible. It was put there for a reason and it will continue to surface and resurface and resurface and resurface (I think you get the gist haha!) until you do something about it.
These things were put in your path for a reason. I know this because this happens to me too. I’m here to tell you that you can have anything that has been in your head or on your heart! Whether it’s starting your own life coaching business, making candles, teaching horseback riding, hosting retreats, starting an insurance business, creating a personal development app, etc etc - no matter what it is, you can have it! And it doesn’t matter if anyone else is already doing it. There is enough to go around for all of us.
One of the biggest excuses I hear has to do with money. A lot of women are afraid to invest money into themselves and their personal growth. And I used to feel the same way, but now it makes me chuckle. Money is just energy and we can always call more in for what we need.
I had someone message me the other day who just signed up for my upcoming retreat, and she told me that she had gone on vacation, fixed her car, and still had money left over to pay for the retreat. That never would have been possible for her if she hadn’t done the work already and gotten out of her own way when she started working with me a couple of years ago. And I’m not saying that I’m a magic person by any means, but I was able to help her overcome that fear of investing money in herself. And now she has the tools that she learned from me to be able to manifest anything that she wants!
Another excuse that I hear a lot from women is that they feel like they need to ask permission from someone else to do something that they want to do. Ladies, I feel like this may be an unpopular opinion, but I have to say it. I understand that you need to have a conversation with your husband, but when did you put the ball in his f**king court? When did you decide that you can’t do something unless you get permission from your husband, kids, boss, or from anyone else in your life?
No. I don’t operate that way. I have conversations with my husband in which I say, “Listen, I want to do this thing so I’m just letting you know that I’m going to do it.” And he does the same thing! We trust each other enough to let each other do what we want and we help each other make it happen. We’re not a**holes haha. I mean, we’re not perfect, we have our moments, but at the end of the day we are each responsible for our own happiness. When we’re both happy it just makes our relationship that much better. And so it just drives me insane when I hear this excuse from other women!
So many women let this excuse hold them back because they want their husbands to be 100% on board with what they’re doing. And I’m here to tell you that your husband is not responsible for your happiness or for the things that are placed on your heart. You have to find it within you and make yourself happy and make sh*t happen on your own. This is a sense of empowerment and independence.
And when you start to have those open conversations with your husband or partner, things start to change. For example, my husband was NOT on board when I signed up for my first coaching program. But I just told myself, “You know what? If I continue to be miserable I’ll just end up making him miserable too.” I had to dig really deep and find a way to make it happen. And I was not in a great financial situation at the time, but I made it happen for myself.
You have time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day and you get to choose what you do with those 24 hours. You have money. You don’t need anyone’s permission. If there is something on your heart, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen? And what is the likelihood of that actually happening?” And a lot of times people are just scared of their own success. I’ve been there and still find myself with that fear every now and then.
And I’m not just talking about investing in coaching programs. If it’s on your heart to join a yoga teacher training program, start a business, go on a cruise, or travel the world, then you just have to find a way to make it happen. Do you really want to be 80 years old and wishing that you had at least tried to make your dreams a reality? You have to at least give yourself the permission to try.
I would hate to be having the same conversation with you a year from now. Change i
s possible now if you would just allow yourself the opportunity to believe and to see what’s possible. I challenge you to write down all of the things that are in your mind and on your heart. Write down all of the things you want.
Think about why you want those things. What will they bring you? Will they bring you freedom, stability, love, joy, connection, or something else? A lot of times it’s the feelings that we want more so than the physical things. And money is just a tool to get the things that will make us happy.
And then come up with a plan to get those things. It is possible for you, but you have to believe that it is possible. You just have to remove the blocks and resistance that are in your path. Do you need to create more time for yourself? Do you need to come up with a plan to create more income? Do you need to have a real conversation with your husband about what you desire and why? Do you need to quit blaming others for holding you back and take responsibility for your own happiness?
And let’s not have the same conversation next year. Let’s have a different conversation. Let’s change your story.
The Sausha Davis Podcast Episode 183: Do You Want to Have the Same Conversation a Year From Now?
If you need more help in this, head over to saushadavis.com/applynow and fill out an application for one-on-one coaching. I’d love to be a part of your journey.
For more information on personal and professional development, my team and I have created a master list of all of the resources that I’ve discussed on my podcast and blog. Head over to saushadavis.com/resources for our full list.