Far away from notifications, expectations,
and everyone else's opinions.
A few days on a ranch with a small group of women and the horses we work with. Most women who come have never been around a horse. You don't need any experience.
See What's Coming UpA horse doesn't care what you do for a living.
She notices your body. Your breathing. Whether you're doing one thing while saying another. And she won't be polite about it the way a friend would.
You can't perform your way through a horse.
So we keep it simple. Everything happens on the ground, on foot, with your shoes on. You spend time with a horse. You notice what you did. Then we slow down and talk about it. Most of the learning lives in the gap between what you meant to do and what you actually did, and that gap usually looks a lot like the rest of your life.
That's where self-trust starts.
This is equine-facilitated learning. Personal development, not therapy. Most of the women who come out to the ranch here in Southern Oregon have never been around horses, and that turns out not to be the part that matters.
A horse won't teach you anything you don't already know. She's just harder to fool than you are.
I'm a mom of four. I live on a ranch in Southern Oregon. I hosted my first retreat in 2018 and haven't stopped since.
Most mornings start the same. Feed the horses. Watch the sun come over the hill. Drink my coffee, journal a bit, and wait for the kids and the chaos to start.
That's where I do most of my thinking. That or the car, after everyone's where they need to be for the day and it's just me and the open road.
Horses were how I worked through my own stuff first. I wasn't trying to build anything. I was just out there most days figuring out that the way I handled a mare who wouldn't load was pretty much the way I handled everything else. Eventually I started inviting other women out to see what they'd notice, and that turned into the workshops and retreats I've been running ever since.
The women who find me aren't in crisis. Their life looks good. It just doesn't feel like theirs anymore.
They don't need another plan. They need somewhere quiet enough to hear themselves.
The horses aren't sending anybody a message. They just respond to what's actually happening, which is a lot harder to argue with than another person's opinion. My job is to set that up, keep it safe, and then ask decent questions about what you saw. I'm not going to tell you what to do with it. You'd only half believe me anyway.
I don't have it figured out either. I'm just paying attention out here, and I've gotten good at helping other women do the same.
Almost nobody signs up feeling certain. They read the page three times, check the dates against everyone else's schedule, and then do it anyway. Here's what a couple of them said afterward.
Marissa came looking for a few days that weren't about being a mom, a wife, or a business owner.
"I was looking for time to grow and relax without stressing over normal day activities and responsibilities like being a mom, wife, and business owner. I loved the whole thing, especially the connections made with the other women there."
Dulce runs a company. She didn't come here thinking she was tired.
"I didn't know how much I needed this reset. I went home lighter and clearer."
Nobody goes home with a five-year plan. What I hear about later is smaller than that and more useful. She said no to something she would have said yes to before. She quit explaining herself to somebody who didn't need the explanation. She started sleeping again. She called her sister back.
These are women who came to a workshop or a retreat here in Southern Oregon, most of them having never touched a horse. They didn't leave fixed. They left sounding more like themselves.
You don't have to know what you're looking for. You just have to be willing to come find out.
Nobody shows up knowing what they need. Most women get here able to tell me exactly what's wrong with their schedule and not much about what they actually want, and that's a fine place to start. You don't have to explain yourself at the gate.
There's never a perfect time. The kids will need something. The horses will need something. Somebody will get sick the week before. If you wait for the clear stretch on the calendar you'll be waiting a while, because I've been waiting for mine since about 2016.
If this has been tugging at you, the tug is the answer.
See What's Coming UpA few times a week I'll send you stories from the ranch, updates on upcoming workshops and retreats, and whatever the horses or life have been teaching me lately.
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